Stress is not a part of your life. Stress is just your inability to manage your own system. Stress happens not because of the nature of your work. The Prime Minister is complaining of stress, the peon is also complaining of stress. In between, every other person is saying his job is stressful. And those who are unemployed also find their situation stressful.
So stress is obviously not about your job, isn’t it? It is just that you do not know how to manage your body, your mind, your emotions, your energy, your chemistry – you do not know how to manage anything. You are functioning by accident, so everything is stressful. If you get into a car where if you turn the steering wheel one way, the car goes in the opposite direction, you’ll be stressed, isn’t it?
So stress is just an inability to manage the inner situation, not the outer situation. Essentially, the quality of our lives changes and transforms not because we change the content of our lives, but only because we change the context of our lives. If someone is living a beautiful life, it does not mean he is doing something different. When he wakes up in the morning, he also goes to the toilet. He also brushes his teeth. He also does the same things. But somehow, his life is magical and beautiful because of the context.
This could have happened to people when they fall in love with someone. When they fell in love, and everything becomes different because the context of their life has changed. But then, once they fall out of love, again, the context of their life changes and they become miserable. Changing the content of your life as you wish may not be possible because you need permission from the situations in which you exist, but changing the context is something that you can do willfully. You don’t need anyone’s permission. It is not at all situational.
On a certain day, three men were working in one place. Another man came by and asked the first man, “What are you doing here?” The man looked up and said, “Are you blind? Can’t you see I’m cutting stone?” This person moved on to the next man and asked, “What are you doing here?” That man looked up and said, “Something to fill my belly. So I come here and do whatever they ask me to do. I just have to fill my belly, that’s all.” He went to the third man and asked, “What are you doing here?” That man stood up in great joy and said, “I’m building a beautiful temple here!” All of them were doing the same thing, but their experience of what they were doing was worlds apart.
Every human being, every moment of his life could be doing whatever he is doing in any one of these three contexts – and that will determine the quality of his life, not what he is actually doing. How simple or complex an activity is doesn’t change the quality of your life. With what context you do it changes the quality of your life.
On that day I was really busy. Due to the hectic schedule I had that day , I decided to have a quick lunch and for that I walked over to the snack counter. I ordered two samosas which was were kept in covered, warming trays, behind the counter with a glass sneeze guard.Can you quickly give that ? I cried. But the person in the counter took his time to put the handcover and with a picker he carefully picked the 2 Samosas and gave it to me. His face reflected the fact that hygiene is more important than anything. What is the cost ? I asked . Sir it is 60 rupees... Why 60 rupees ? , I can get this at 20 rupees outside !! I replied.
Sir , she said “ The vision of our company is to provide every Samosa lover with the best of Samosas and rid him of the sub standard unhygienic and unhealthy samosa dished out to him by the unscrupulous road side vendor.Prepared by a specialized chef we use the best quality ingredients to prepare the Samosa which is fried in a healthy, cholesterol free refined oil. In manufacturing our samosas we are proud of our unique and well-maintained facilities in food processing technique. All our samosas are prepared in a hygienic and modern kitchen, with NO PRESERVATIE added
I was really impressed and was really proud to take the samosa's.
I took the plate went to a table and started eating. Suddenly I lost all my five senses and got into the sixth sense and was standing near to a shop in one of the busy streets.
The shop was named "ABC caterers". There were so many boxes kept there. One person was standing there , should be a manager , and he was shouting “Raghu Why have you kept the box open and kept in ground ? ". You could have kept in the rack. And Raghu replied The rack is full of rats and cockroaches , yesterday some of the samosas were eaten by them . That is why I kept in the ground. OK at least keep them closed , it will be full of dust and whenever the BMPP sewage lorry moves so much of dust and garbage is coming inside. Has all the boxes arrived ?. Yes boxes for infosys , tcs... and as usual munnabhai's box is still to arrive. Go and get it , we have to deliver it fast shouted the manager.
Raghu started to leave somewhere and I followed Raghu. I understod that Raghu is going to munnbhai's house. Munnabhai's ghar or house was inside a slum.There was smell of sewage and sweets. Flies and mosquitoes settle on roadside carts of fruit and atop the hides of wandering goat .After the a journey through a dank maze of ever-narrowing passages we reached a canopy covered by smoke and sheet metal. Inside that there was a man , trying busy to prepare Samosa’s . Raghu asked “Munnabhai , abhi tak , Samosa ready nahi kya ?”. 10 minutes sir, “Munnabha replied. Munnbhai then started looking for the vessel . The vessel was somehow kept outside. Where is the broom for cleaning this ? Somewhere from the inside room , one lady throwed it and murmured Take it it is all yours. Then the poured the flour in to the table , started mixing everything. He kept the vessel on the stove , then he took a black barrel where the oil was stored , poured it and within ten minutes prepared the samosas , packed in a newspaper which was lying down in the floor and gave it to Raghu.
Raghu , came back to the shop and there was a box kept there . He carefully moved the SAMOSA’s and I just noticed the name “ it was the name of MY Company “ and I lost the sixth sense and came back to my senses and was in the table eating the samosa.
In the sixth sense we can see the reality . What I could see was the other 2 dimensions where the samosa’s are packed and made. The reality is that each individual has got three dimensions of life . The First the public life where we interact with our colleagues , twitter followers , facebook friends … The second the private/personal life where we interact with our spouse/parents/very closed friends and the third one is the secret life where we only know about ourselves . This is the space within oneself where the thoughts , desires and our basic essence lies. If the values , thoughts and beliefs are not clarified in this space can we carry it out to the other dimensions ? .
When I say Failure, I did not mean that you took up an exam in your school or college and failed. But what I mean by Failure is that “Have you ever made promises and commitments to yourself but could not keep that up ?”
A few months ago after a medical checkup my doctor told me that the bad cholesterol in my blood has increased and I need to walk at least 30 minutes daily to bring it back to normal . Immediately after leaving the hospital I walked into a … Reebok show room and purchased a stylish sports shoes which was costing more than Rs. 4000 and I decided that the next day I am going to get up at 5’o clock and I am going to Run …..
Run for Life –The next day I woke up exactly at 5’o Clock. But.. it was cold and was raining outside. Why to become sick when I am already sick?. So I decided that after coming back from office I will be jogging for 45 minutes. I hour drive to office , 9 hours work at office resolving the old problems and creating the new one and again 1 hr drive back to home . After this , where is the energy even to walk for 5 minutes ?. So I decided that the next day I would be getting up at 4.30 and compensate for the first day . The next day …next day.. next day . After 4 months of time I could see that the Rs. 4000 stylish sporty reebok shoe was converted into a magnificent villa for few cockroaches.
Why did I failed ? . On One hand I had the knowledge. The Doctor told me What I had to do . I had the skill - everybody knows how to run , and I also had the ‘Why’ – the reason that if health is lost something is lost . But despite having the Knowledge. Skills and reason I failed. What is the reason? . No reason.
It is said that “The heart has its reasons that the reasons does not knows”. So I had to take a deeper look at myself and found that there was something missing. I cannot name this nor can define this but I will call this as “ATTITUDE”.
What is ATTITUDE ?
ATTITUDE is a set of thoughts.
On one side I have a set of thoughts which says - You cannot do this because it is raining and cold outside ,Why do you want to do this ?. Are you sure that you will get the results you expect ?.
One the other side a set of thoughts which says - , You can definitely do this , have patience for some time the rain will go away and you can walk. Do not look for excuses focus on the activities which is in your hand. Though you cannot see the result YOU know very well that you will get the results .
So I just need to shift from these CANNOT , MUST NOT , SHOULD NOT on the left side to CAN , MUST and SHOULD at the right side.
If it is so simple why is that thousands of people including me fails everyday ?.
Last Year I took a decision that this I am not going to fall sick this Year . I did not wanted to avail any of the sick leaves which the company gives me. The very next day after I took this decision somewhere from eternity a small tiny insect which we call as “Mosquito” came down gave me a bite and the very next day I was Hospitalized with Dengue.
The Doctor told me that the situation is getting worse and if there is no recovery I need to go for a Blood Platelet Transfusion . I said “ Let us wait for Tomorrow”. The next day the fever came down and I was miraculously discharged. I call this as a Miracle because “I Know what not everyone who walks into the Hospital Walks out of the Hosiptal “.
But the point here is that the moment I took a small decision to move forward immediately there is a opposition force which pushes me back . This force pushes me and makes me, chains me and makes me a Slave . A Slave of conditions – ‘Born to Win but conditioned to loose’
To Break these chains of Slavery and to step into the realms of personal freedom then I need to look into the very own Mosquito which has destroyed my Life .
First I need to realize and understand thaf if a tiny Mosquito is capable of destroying my Life how much I would be capable of creating my Own Life .
With this thought I will break these chains and move forward . Then Again I have to encounter the Harsh realities of the Life . it could be a call for doing a bigger business or a call to get into a rocket ship and going to moon or it could be a deadly disease and then I am again pushed back with Fear . Now the Mosquito Says to me “ Look , I am always with you . You need to make a intelligent choice either to surrender to me or go and confront the bigger situations which is in front of you which requires courage . What matters in life is not fight , but fighting . it does not matter whether you fight with a mosquito or a elephant . What matters is the attitude , the spirit , the inspiration within you “. This could be the reason why a poet once said “Sometimes When I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things , I am tempted to think there are no little things. “.
Now a Days I have be-friended with all the Mosquitoes . I do not use Good Night or a ALL out any more . Because I feel that these tiny insects are around me , roaming besides me , before me to make me realize that “What lies before you and What lies besides you are TINY matters compared to what lies inside you“.
This is called as Mosquito Effect.
The Mosquito Effect - Insights from a Mosquito Bite.